The Misadventures of a Shaman King MarySue
by Sora no Hoshi
Summary: Not for Mary-Sue lovers What qualities constitute a typical Shaman King Mary-Sue? In a bout of anger, a Mary-Sue was created to be abused. Grab this chance to get your hands on a Mary-Sue. Meet the unfortunate Mary-Sue, Zenbi and her spirit, Enman.
1. Chapter 1

Due to three recent encounters with three very frustratingly perfect girls that make all other character look bad, I have designed a way to let out my frustration. If you're one of those peoplewho love OCs or Mary-Sues, I suggest you either close this tab/window/monitor/computer immediately, or press the back/forward/home/favorite button to lead you somewhere kinder. Otherwise, run out of the house as fast as you can screaming bloody murder and kind neighbors will make sure to get you as far away as possible (coincidentally, into a mental asylum).

Story Warning: Not for Mary-Sue lovers; beware of Maru-Sue torture; crack; character death; intense blinding sparkles around the Mary-Sue in question.

Chapter Warning: Mary-Sue, sparkles, terrifying facts.

Disclaimer: I do not Own Shaman King, but I do own the Mary-Sue and the spirit

* * *

**The Misadventures of a Shaman King Mary-Sue  
**

A typical Shaman King Mary-Sue includes (but not limited to) the following qualities:

-Stronger than Hao

-Nicer than Yoh

-Smarter than Manta

-More sadistic than Anna

-More Modest than Tamao

-More understanding of Hao than Opacho

-More worshipped than Jeanne

-Cuter than Kororo

-More social than Horo Horo

-Funnier than Ryu

-Cooler than Ren

-Prettier than Jun

-Nobler than Amidamaru

-More skilled at medicals than Faust

-Have Reishi

-Have a tragic past and/or present and wears a mask (fake expression) to hide it

-Loved by all guys

-Is able to use shinigamis, jiang-shis, and can channel spirits

-Has a connection with the Patch and the Great Spirit

-Have unusual eyes and hair that makes her "exotic"

-Is good at everything she does, never fails

-Can stop natural disaster

-Can stop unnatural disaster

-Can save Hao within a day

-Acquainted with Yohken and Matamune

-Looks breathtaking under the moon/star/sun

-Has the special privilege to form a one-person team during the Shaman Fight and wins anyways

-Plays an important role in solving all problems.

...

And with that, I introduce to you...Zenbi.

She is sixteen years old and the greatest creature to ever grace the human race. With a head of beautiful long, silky lavender hair, the front framing her perfectly chiseled face, she is the object of many people's desires. Her cheeks are flushed slightly with life, her light golden eyes seemingly hiding years of pain and experience, making her older than her years. Her cute little nose and pouty cherry lips makes her attractive to those around her, and the power she exudes makes many admire her.

She lost her parents when she was five, and survived with her younger brother with nothing but her own skills. Living in the wilderness since young, she has developed not only a fit body that has a perfect curve, but also honed senses and is in tune with nature. Her furyoku amounts to a little bit less than Hao's, but only because she suppressed half of her power because she thought that she was too powerful herself. Not only that, she is also very talented (the best there is) in physical combat and use of any ranged weapons; her tact is second to none. Her life had been filled with the blood of others since her parents' death, having no choice since she needs to protect herself and her brother. But despite the harsh life she has, she always puts on a smile and hides everything behind a mask of cheerfulness.

Her spirit is Enman, the younger brother that she lost at the age of ten. The two of them were chosen by the Great Spirit, and by sacrificing his life, Enman attained the God's ultimate power to create nothing from something and to create something from nothing. This power is in turn passed onto her through shamanism.

The above are merely a few of her limitless wonderful traits. In another words, Zenbi is a perfect, undefeatable, lovable, omniscient entity.

…supposedly.

Since the objective of her existence is supposedly her suffering and eventual downfall, I will now embark on a journey to break through her impenetrable barrier of perfection, in searching of nothing but satisfaction, of course.

* * *

**Now, I give everyone a chance to get their hands on this Mary-Sue. Whether you want to adopt her for a story, or whatever, feel free as long as you inform me at some point. However, the main purpose of this story is not to admire this presently created Mary-Sue, but to torture her in the light of my frustration, so the following chapters will be filled by single-chapter drabbles (or non-drabbles) that include the torture of Zenbi (perfection) and her spirit Enman (perfection).**

**If you desire specific torture, you can either adopt her for a story of your own, or you can message me or leave it in a review (along with the character(s) with whom she interacts) and I'll get to it someday (when that day is depending on the amount of requests). Or, if you want to, you can write one and send it to me and I'll add it up as a chapter credited to you. Meanwhile, if there are no requests, I'll be issuing the torture of Zenbi myself. It's good stress relief, so don't read if you don't feel like it.**

On the other hand, if there are any Mary-Sue qualities you would like to add, feel free to leave it in a review or contact me in anyway and I'll add it in the chapter/drabble/torture spree.

In the light of the nature of this story, then, this story will constantly remain in the status "Complete". Despite that, however, there will be updates at random times at my whim.


	2. Chapter 2

In order to find out how to defeat a Mary-Sue, I started on a brave journey traveled before by few. I arrived at the beach. The afternoon sun, hidden behind scattered clouds, casts a soft reddish glow upon the sea, making the ocean pinkish, as if covered filled with cherry blossoms. I stopped as I saw a silhouette against the slightly-covered sun. It was a person. The figure-a female, it would seem-turned around, and I can catch the slightly hint of a smile on her lips.

"Brave traveler," she started, in an ominous voice, "I know your journey, and pray for your success. However," her tone was serious, admonishing, "beware of the Mary-Sue's beautiful singing voice; with such a weapon, she can stop all the guys in their tracks and mesmerize them."

I bade a quick thanks to this mysterious figure, and continued on my way. Making the effort to put one foot in from of the other on the sandy beach, I kept on down this perilous road with a grave heart at the newly-arisen difficulty. So caught up was I in my musings, I nearly stepped on a creature, had its sound not alerted me of its presence.

_Meow_

Started, I stopped myself just in time for the kitten to scurry away from under my feet. Looking after it as it ran away, I noticed that it is white-maybe grey-and it was wet, maybe from the ocean's water. The light of the sun glinting off its wet fur makes it look silver.

Putting my foot down, I heard a distinct _crunch_ of shoe-on-paper, and lifted it once again. A piece of paper was half-buried in the sand. I picked it up. A simple paragraph was written on it:

_Beware of the Sue's animalistic, godly powers. Underestimate her and you will be hurt. Be careful not to be mesmerized by her ever-changing eyes; use the different colors to your advantage and read her mood. Don't let her control you as she did others._

So simple was this paragraph, but so solemn its message, casting a grateful look in the direction that the kitten disappeared in, I silently wished it well.

Thus, I continue on my journey as I left that beach, a thankful thought, always, toward the girl by the pinkish sea and the kitten of a glowing silver color.

The journey had just begun; with a determined heart, I entered my first battle field

(Thanks a lot to Sakura no Umi and SilverKitty for the ideas!)

* * *

Story Warning: Not for Mary-Sue lovers; beware of Maru-Sue torture; crack; character death; intense blinding sparkles around the Mary-Sue in question.

Chapter Warning: Mary-Sue, name-abuse.

This is a pretty mild chapter, no real torture of the Mary-Sue (yet).

Disclaimer: I do not Own Shaman King, but I do own the Mary-Sue and the spirit

Thanks: to **Sakura no Umi**, **wOOt**, **pop bottles**, and **SilverKitty** for the reviews.

* * *

We all agree, then, that Zenbi is our mutual enemy? That she deserves no pity for whatever fate should befall her from here on?

**Zenbi's Misadventure: The Final Battle**

Let's take a peek at how she saves the day during the final battle between Hao and Yoh.

oOo

Footsteps can be heard running nonstop toward a single direction. A figure, graceful even while sprinting across kilometers of land, moves with determination as one foot plants itself firmly in front of the other. Lavender hair swayed gently and flowed beautifully behind the running figure, light golden eyes trained on a single direction.

After effortlessly making her way through millions of obstacles that would otherwise hinder the other shamans who made their same way toward the same destination, the figure finally comes to a stop at the top of a very long set of stairs, not even out of breath.

"Stop!" A beautiful voice, melodious as a music box, shouts out and three heads turned toward her.

A boy has another by the throat, and a small girl is off to the side, merely watching.

"…what?" The long-haired boy, still holding onto the other boy's neck, asks with an elegantly raised eyebrow as he eyed the unknown intruder.

The newcomer steps forward and parted the two boys with her bare hands. She turns to the long-haired boy. "Hao! You can't do this! You're just blinded by hatred! What will you accomplish by creating a shaman-only world? Can't you see the shamans are merely humans who have power? Can't you tell that the evil of prejudice and wrong-doing will not change with your ambition?"

She turns to ther other boy who is gasping for breath. "And Yoh! You shouldn't be fighting him! Don't you understand? Hao is in pain! You have to help him get through it, as his brother. Nothing will be accomplished if you kill him! He'll just come back later, stronger than before, and harboring more hatred than he ever held."

The two stare at her for a moment, the little girl still not doing anything, before Hao pushes her aside. "Anyways, Yoh, where were we?"

Yoh looks at his brother, ignoring the girl at the side. "I think you had me by the throat, Hao."

The girl gaped as the two start fighting again, completely ignoring her. Finally, she's had enough. "Enman." She holds her right hand out in front of her as the spirit of a small boy appears. Large energy gathers around her arm before she throws it with pinpoint accuracy at the two, effectively breaking them apart as they land ungracefully.

"…the hell?!" Hao stands up and glares at her. Yoh stands up as well, casting a wary look at this strange…_being_.

The girl puts her hands at her sides, her golden eyes beautiful even while flashing in anger. "Aren't you listening? You can't keep fighting! This is not the right way to approach this!"

They stare at her some more. "Excuse me, but…" Yoh finally says after a few minutes of silence.

"…who are you anyways?"

She looks at him in shock.

"Yeah, seriously, who the hell are you?" Hao says as well.

The girl looks appalled. She turns to Yoh.

"Yoh! I'm Zenbi, remember? The girl you broke your engagement with Anna for?" She then turns to Hao. "And I thought you love me, Hao! You just confessed to me last week, after commenting on how attractive my power is and how beautiful I looked with the starlight showering my face." She stares at the two of them, a bit angry. "How can you forget?"

Another silence. Yoh and Hao look at each other, as if communicating secretly.

Yoh turns to her, finally. "Ohhhh, right! You're…Zenbi, right! Ummm…how could we have forgotten, right Hao?"

Hao nods. "Yes, how could we have forgotten you, Sanbi! I can't believe it!"

His brother turns to him, waving his hand urgently. "Hao! It's Zenbi…right?" He turns to the girl with a questioning gaze.

Zenbi is flabbergasted. "What the…you didn't remember at all!" She fumed (gracefully). "And I heard you, Yoh! What do you mean you don't remember breaking your engagement with Anna?"

Yoh blinks. "I didn't say anything like that."

"No, but I heard it!" Zenbi speaks indignantly, waving her hands elegantly. "I have Reishi, you know! Except it's stronger than Hao's because it was gifted to me by the Great Spirits itself."

_What the hell?_

She can hear the simultaneous thoughts in both their heads. Suddenly, she smiles sadistically, startling the two of them. "Well, that's okay. I'll simply issue appropriate punishments later. But for now, the two of you must stop fighting!" She insists.

The two look at her, then at each other, and start fighting yet again.

Heaving a loud, sweet sigh, she summons Enman yet again and breaks the two apart once more.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Hao angrily stares at her.

She puts her hands together in front of her, tears automatically swelling up in her eyes for dramatic effect. "I told you to stop fighting! Two brothers killing each other is not the way to solve it!"

The two look at each other again. Letting out a heavy sigh, Yoh drops the arm holding the sword. "I lost the mood, Hao."

Hao, too, lets his oversoul dissipate. "Yeah, me too." He walks closer to his brother. "How about we reschedule this? Let's say…Thursday?"

Yoh nods. "Yeah, sounds good. But Anna has training for me in the morning. Let's meet at..say, 2PM?"

Hao nods as well. "Alright. I'll see you then." He indicates to the little girl at the side. "Come on, Opacho."

The small girl jumps off from her perch and follows the fire shaman.

Zenbi stands in front of him with her arm outstretched.

"What now?" Hao runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

"You can't just leave! You have to resolve this peacefully! You can't just _reschedule_!" She shouts angrily.

He pushes her aside and continues on his way, Opacho following and Yoh leaving immediately after. "Just leave us alone. Gosh, it's none of your business!"

Yoh eyes her warily. "I don't even know who you are."

"It's Sanbi, Yoh." Hao offers offhandedly and Yoh shrugs before the three of them left, leaving Zenbi to stand alone and forgotten next to the Great Spirits.

oOo

**Zenbi: 0; Me: 1**

So, somehow, I made it through the first time. I can tell she wasn't using her full power, and I hate being underestimated. I will make sure that she regrets going easy on me.

oOo

A/N: And _that_ was the first contact that our dear Shaman King universe made with the abominable species!

Not too much yet. I'll start slow. This is not really a series, and follows no chronological order, but previous chapters may be referred to in other chapters, indicating a very slight chronological order.


End file.
